They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
