he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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