It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
