I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think your dad took our porno
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
