So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Randomize
