Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
