I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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