we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
