I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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