There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
