i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
