Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I love having hate sex.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
