some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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