That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
A+ Viking dick
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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