from now on my penis is your penis
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
