Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize