I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize