I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
