White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
