Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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