Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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