sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
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