Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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