Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
