Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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