so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize