he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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