there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm passing your future prison.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Be still, my beating vagina.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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