what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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