Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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