This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
