I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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