shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
