Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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