Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Randomize