stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize