so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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