The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
