Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
