I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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