Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
