Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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