she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
