We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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