It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
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At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
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Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.