I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.