And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
