The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
