And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
