Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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