she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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