I've blown a few things in my day
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm sobbing to NWA
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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