roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She bit a glass in half.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize