Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
