Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize