Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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