Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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