I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
