You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
