he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
