i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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