Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
