it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
