i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
