Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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