Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Randomize
