she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
