Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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